Life for me over the past month hasn't been a walk in the park. In fact it has felt more like a marathon. Having so much disappointment over a short period of time really has been, for lack of a better word, shit. But have I been looking at it the wrong way? I cant help but wonder, has this all just been the ultimate wake up call?
Talking to one of my friends last night gave me the idea for this post. After having a whinge to him regarding my general state of affairs, the simple words "Jonny it's all just a test" stopped me dead in my tracks. Suddenly the weight of the world seemed to lift and everything became peachy creamy. But why? How could one statement offer so much clarity? Maybe it was the suggestion of a challenge that sparked my interest, or the realisation that for the past month I have spent so much time and energy feeling sorry for myself. A bit of both maybe. Okay admittedly the last month hasn't been a complete right off, quitting smoking, eating well and working out everyday is physically leaving me feeling amazing. Emotionally however is where this 'test' idea really works. I guess what I like most is it's forcing ability to make me work through my problems, and hopefully come out the other side with understanding. I don't think stewing over disappointments gets us anywhere, in fact it does us more harm than good. How can you possibly grow as a person and learn from your mistakes?
Yes it's easy to wait for things to blow over, or continue the way they were, but I don't want easy, easy doesn't make you grow, easy doesn't make you think. Being given a wake up call still isn't enough, it's the direction you take that makes all the difference.