Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Seeking your approval.

Seeking others approval, whether it be friends, family, co workers or a crush. Why is winning them over so important? What ever happened to believing in yourself?
I'm the first to admit, I'm constantly trying to win people over. Today is a perfect example. The simple act of spending that extra 10 minutes doing my hair this morning wasn't done for me. Nor was the horribly healthy run I went on when I woke up. They were done so the complete strangers I met at work thought I had great hair and looked fit. Sad but very true. Even last week I found myself seeking the approval of my friend Angus, telling him I had quit smoking and that I liked his ex, I never did either. So not only am I seeking the approval of complete strangers, but my friends also! I turn to my friend Matt for answers. Asking whose approval he seeks was a big fat slap in the face. "I don't go out of my way for anyone to like me, I never feel the need to win people over, I don't see the point. Whether people like me or not doesn't change anything." Matt is what Oprah would call a strong black woman. To tell you the truth I don't see the point in it either, but I still do it. Why I do it is what I'm continually puzzled by. I guess what it all boils down to is the fear of being judged, and lets face it we all do it, for some of us it's even a hobby. But why do I care what people think of me? Why should I care if someone doesn't like my hair, or thinks that my extremely lanky body is weird an unnatural. What does it change? Nothing!
It's a full time job trying to impress everyone. I've decided to hand in my notice and walk out the door.

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